I assure you that I am not offering lessons on how to hold your cutlery (although)…yet, it is important to recognize that your table manner is far from perfect and occasionally of significant consequence. It says a lot about your social position and values. Of course, society has evolved, as have “good manners.” Cultural diversity within organizations leads executives and professionals to adapt as each culture has its own rules on the subject of “good manners.” There are therefore numerous ways of behaving at the table whether you are North American, Asian or European but it still remains a type of social discrimination. You will be judged on your table manners just as much as on your professional skills. A good reason to go over our education guide a little…
1 – Define the purpose of the meeting. For example, breakfast is generally less “official” than lunch or dinner, and is a good time to maintain a business relationship or discuss a particular point, lunch also, if it is of short duration (1 hour). If your objective is to negotiate a big contract or to intensively discuss an important subject or even to thank your guest, you would be wise to allow more time or even to choose dinner as more suitable for a private discussion. Whatever your objective may be, the basic rule is to aim to please by creating a moment of comfort and complicity. Transforming a simple lunch into a pleasurable and relaxing situation contributes to a unique and privileged relationship…and isn’t that the ultimate goal?
2 – Offer the invitation: According to the status of your guest, deal with their assistant. They will be very useful for collecting relevant information on the guests’ culinary tastes (or restrictions) and they will be able to advise you of the guests’ agenda. It is useful to know that Mr. X has a favorite restaurant or even that they dislike sushi…Also remember to confirm the details the day before…a meeting at “noon for lunch” does not necessarily mean that you will meet at 12h on the dot! Some will be thinking 12h15, or 12h30 and others 13h…A place which is too trendy or too far from their workplace can be annoying for your guest, as can a place which is too gloomy or old-fashioned…make a list of your favorite places according to these criteria keeping in mind who you have invited, when and why (your accountant will thank you for it…).
3 – Arrive 5 minutes early if you are the host and 5 minutes late if you are the guest (15 minutes maximum). These precious minutes will allow you to scope out the place, change tables if necessary and peruse the menu to better advise your guest. Avoid ordering a drink before they arrive or digging into the bread and butter, make good impression. Put the guest at ease immediately, get up, shake their hand, break the ice, and tell them that you are happy that they were able to come. Before eating, remember your “manners”! In this matter, I would advise that you find inspiration in a “guide to good manners” or even ask your mother…
4 – For those who seem to eat every meal at a restaurant, staying slim is a real problem! If you don’t want to add 20 pounds too quickly, it is in your interests to choose the healthy option. They may be a little dull but think of your cholesterol…In any case, you are not there merely to appreciate the food but for a specific purpose. The restaurant is but a means, it doesn’t need to be the final word. If you are a fine organizer, you will only allow one “big lunch, wined and dined” per week. If you must have a round of drinks with important clients or providers to thank them or to celebrate an occasion, do it in a month or two…unless of course you are a serious gym fanatic. But pay attention and follow your guest, if they order wine have some too, if they are on a diet? Order a salad with them.
5 – Control the service: Sounds simple…if you are inviting you are responsible for calling the waiter over to order the food and ask for the bill. Sometimes uncomfortable, some people don’t dare to call the waiter or even do so in a chivalrous manner (by shouting to the other end of the room…) Be alert, a simple glance or gesture and the waiter will acknowledge you…The waiter is your accomplice, don’t forget it! Make sure you have means to pay and your credit card is settled! There is nothing more stressful than hearing that your card “isn’t going through…” (It happened to me…and I can still remember it well!!).
Finally, to prepare your business lunch, remember that competence alone is not enough…it takes much more…a bit like a present with no pretty packaging, the impact is not as strong and the goal can be missed…